Chance

Serendipity – Apr 12 09

I needed to talk today. Not about anything deep, involved or painful, but about the mundane, the everyday, the frayed edges of life that scratch irritably at the skin of my existence. I had in mind, someone that I wanted to share this with, but as I am continuously reminded, events barely follow the plans of any one person. Rather, circumstances mix in a state of seemingly chance-filled delirium to create a situation, a glance, a chance meeting.

I was at a filling station when one such a meeting occurred. The car in front of me backed into my bumper. The lightest tap, barely worth notice, although I firmly pressed my horn to make sure it stayed that way. The occupant of the vehicle in front stepped out slowly… but it was more like unfolding as the car was smallish and he was not.

I tapped lightly on the horn again. Waved. He glanced; squinting into my car, then came closer.

It was nice to see a friend. His deep baritone was soothing to my ears, reminding me of smiling uncles and days passed as a child listening to all the old men around the neighborhood laugh and talk and crack open peanuts as we rode our bikes round and round the block. His voice has a familiarity to it, a comforting timbre as old as tradition, like a worn-in armchair, a resting place. We caught up over chicken fried rice and cold spring rolls.

Although we did fall victim to a rather brusque and pushy, pot-bellied waiter who insisted I “must order a sauce, or else the plain fried rice will NOT be enjoyed.”

I blinked at him, “But I don’t want a sauce, just the rice please” He sighed heavily. The kind of sigh breathed when your store of patience is completely exhausted and the frantic search for internal reserves is almost as tiring as the object depleting it.

“But there is chicken. Don’t you like fish!?? Shredded Beef?” he squeaked, barely able to contain his displeasure. I am sure I saw his lip try to snarl of its own accord.

“No. No, I’d rather not, please, just the rice.” I insisted, plead.

My dining companion became visibly uncomfortable with the food-pushing waiter and even went so far as to wrest the menu from my grasp and quickly scan it himself. “Maybe he’s right.” He said as his eyes searched. “Maybe you could order some chicken?”

BENEDICT ARNOLD, TRAITOR, TURNCOAT! “No, no, it’s alright. The rice please. And a coke. Thank you.”

At that point, I supposed they both noticed the murderous glint in my eye, completely belying my calm responses. They wisely both raised their white flags and went back to their respective business.

Needless to say, I didn’t know just how much I wanted, needed to talk and just decompress until that conversation. It was a truly serendipitous meeting and one that proved beyond a doubt that God provides. For that, I am thankful.

The other side of serendipity…

I believe in Serendipity. I believe that what looks to us like happenstance, fate or luck is actually a situation engineered by God for a purpose. I think I used to believe in luck for luck’s sake, but there were too many coincidences. Too many times when I needed something and sent up a small prayer, only to have that thing materialize in the nick of time. Too many times I received something or someone I didn’t even know I needed.

I have always said that my friends are my friends because of one simple thing. Something in my soul recognizes something in theirs. There is, when you meet someone who is meant to be woven into the tapestry of your life, recognition, a spiritual embrace, a burst of joy at having found something so akin to oneself. There is a resonance, a call and the response echoing in time to the beat of a heart.

I have felt this. My spirit has called to another and received an answer many times and I am blessed to know the feeling so well that it is immediately recognizable to me. The best parts of my friends, the family I built for myself, are also the best parts of me. Because, really, they are me, and I am them. It gets philosophical, yes, but it’s something I’ve always understood to be elemental, as natural as breathing.

It’s Easter. There is so much to celebrate. So much to be thankful for. Here, is the cornerstone of Christianity, the closing act of the ultimate sacrifice, the ultimate act of love from God to his children, the newness of being clean, the miracle of being forgiven. It is my favorite time of year after Christmas, but it actually means more to me than Christmas does.

It is at this time that I most want to be with those people I have built into my family. The time I most want to feel the resonance of dancing kindred souls around me, singing happily in every direction. Since I am here, on one side of the Atlantic, and they are on the other, I do not have the comfort of that and it’s terribly lonely.

I have family here, actual blood relations, but unfortunately, I do not feel at home in their presence.

So, I have decided to remind myself of those people, those souls who God has placed in my path. I thank Him every day for the gift of knowing you all.

Mom – I miss your love, jokes, the smallest violin in the world and your ability to see in me what I cannot see in myself, But I wish you could see in Yourself what I see in you.

Dad – I miss your quiet understanding, your encouragement, belief in me and the way your eyes narrow as you laugh loudly.

Suki-Babe – I miss talking to you because you inspire me to be a better me, you have the best heart of anyone I have ever, EVER known.

Peanut – I miss the dimple in your cheek when you laugh and your determination and your sarcasm.

So Brown – I miss your laughter, silliness and acceptance, whole and complete. I can be my WHOLE self with you, Sisterlou.

Pat (I mean GENE) – I miss my twin, BFBF!

Ronx – Your conversations, comments, wittiness, sage wisdom and understanding, the way we see eye to eye on so many things.. the sharing of our origins.

Fallback Crew of Fall 02 – Duah – “Duah, Duah, Doo-doo, Duah!” and the Ghanaian eye and the “Yeah, I could eat.”
Jaz- Your volcano of giggles, your humor and your enormous talent,
Keenster – oh, master of the deadest eye, but owner of the biggest heart,
Krys – The most contagious laughter, the most beautyful (T, 2008), the most courageous.

Blair – doses of Assholery abound, yours is second to none.

Lil Sis – You needed to belong to someone, and you do! You belong to me, for always and I will be here for you. I also miss you because… you just GET it.

HBPA – your caring, commiseration and realness. (and of course, your GREAT hair)

Dupe – I don’t have to miss you cuz you’re here… I really don’t know who is crazier, you or me (and that’s saying something) but the way you dare to FIND your dreams is remarkable.

There are so many people that now; I’m still getting to know. I don’t know if they will be a sentence, a punctuation mark, or chapters in the book; Acts and scenes in the script. I’m excited to see how events unfold. I’m scared sometimes that things won’t work out as I plan them, but there’s always serendipity.



Happy Easter to All!!!