From a Time Long, Long Ago...

I don't know how many will read this and remember when "Crying in the Streets" actually happened... but I found this on my old computer not too long ago. All I have to say is THANK GOD I can laugh about this now!!! Enjoy... or not.

Should I mind that I didn’t feel anything in my chest, when you had your breakdown?

Should I feel guilt? Remorse? Should I think anything other than “Is the sky blue or gray or both?” or “I wonder if that pizza they’re eating is good?...looks good.”

This is how I know that I don’t love you, or maybe don’t even like you that much. While you sobbed your guts onto the street, I stood there watching; a little annoyed that I was inevitably going to clean up this mess, because there was no one else. The tears poured down your face… the face that I am alaways startled to see for some strange reason, and I could muster nothing but mild annoyance.

When you hurt, I should hurt for you, or feel sympathy, or at the very least, tell you I can empathize. I should rub your humble back because I feel that way. Or wipe the tears away with my bare hands, and perhaps touch them to my lips and taste them; let the salt roll over my tongue and know the significance of that.

I should be crying tears of my own because it tears me apart that you’re hurt so badly. I should have offered to talk to you because you needed counsel, not try to drop you off at the nearest friend’s house, thinking, “I don’t want to deal with this. Your friend had better be home.”

I did feel bad…about the things I should have done and didn’t. But then, I thought, as I drove towards your friends house, carrying you in the passenger seat , that I should be happy, although I wasn't.

At least I know that I’m cured of anything, if there was ever anything that I ever felt for you and I felt bad about thinking that. But then all I could hear was you talking to your ex… the one that had you crying (like a newborn with colic) in the first place, because my radio was turned off and I left my CDs at home, and I realized just how inconsequential I was to you at that very moment.

And then, just like that, you absolved my guilt…everything I felt bad about, or should have done was gone, just like that.

So, I guess, what I really should say is Thanks. Thank you. Muchas Gracias.